The clock in the church tower said 4.32, as it had done for three hundred years. It was right once a day and that was better than no clock at all.
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Quotes by Spike Milligan (Terence Alan Milligan)
You can find this author also in Humor.
Professor Milligan will now play his tree! The composition is in a Minor, the tree is in a garden.
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
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in Quotes & Aphorisms (Love)
If I could write words
Like leaves on an autumn forest floor,
What a bonfire my letters would make.
If I could speak words of water,
You would drown when I said
"I love you."
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Waiting for the operation, there was a gentle tap on the door. In came a strapping nurse. "Good morning", she shrilled, whipped back the bedclothes, upped with his nightshirt, grabbed his willy, lathered furiously around it till it looked like the Eddystone Lighthouse in a storm, then shaved the whole area till it looked like an oven-ready chicken.
'Excuse me, nursè, said Looney, 'why did you knock? "
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"Author? Author? Did you write these legs?"
'Yes."
"Well, I don't like them. I don't like'em at all at all. I could had written better legs myself."
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in Quotes & Aphorisms (Books)
After Puckoon I swore I'd never write another book. This is it.
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Patience, thought Milligan, that word was invented by dull buggers who couldn't think quick enough.
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Pakistani Dalek: Put him in the curry.
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The width of neck and shoulder suggested a rugby player, the broken nose confirmed it. Which shows just how wrong you can be as he never played the game in his life.
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