You'll find the quotes by Andy Rooney in Quotes & Aphorisms, in Humor and in Murphy's laws.
The best Christmas trees come very close to exceeding nature. If some of our great decorated trees had been grown in a remote forest area with lights that came on every evening as it grew dark, the whole world would come to look at them and marvel at the mystery of their great beauty.
Death is a distant rumor to the young.
The Christmas tree is a symbol of love, not money. There's a kind of glory to them when they're all lit up that exceeds anything all the money in the world could buy.
I just wish this social institution [religion] wasn't based on what appears to me to be a monumental hoax built on an accumulation of customs and myths directed toward proving something that isn't true.
Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.