Mitt is the guy you think you look like. Newt is the guy you actually look like.
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Humor
Mitt Romney and his family have a big two-day weekend plan. They're going to hike to the top of his money.
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Now how about this, ladies and gentlemen? The Governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin, has announced she is stepping down. She will no longer be the Governor of Alaska. First thing, she woke up and went out on her porch and waved goodbye to Russia.
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in Humor (Puns / Jokes)
God has a special providence for fools, drunks, and the United States of America.
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Over the weekend they gave Dick Cheney a heart transplant. Finally all of those midnight trips to the graveyard with the hunchbacked assistant have paid off.
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in Humor (Puns / Jokes)
It is hard to think that a $2 billion company with 4,300-plus people couldn't compete with six people in blue jeans.
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Sarah Palin says she wants limited government. Does she mean fewer elected officials or more officials who resign in the middle of their terms? I think limited government will be perfect for her limited abilities.
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in Humor (Puns / Jokes)
Catherine: Why commit Evil?
Goetz: Because Good has already been done.
Catherine: Who has done it?
Goetz: God the Father. I, on the other hand, am improvising.
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President Obama says he wants to put an end to the policy, 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell. ' Yeah, in the military. This is not to be confused with George Bush's policy, 'Don't Know, Don't Care. ' That's a whole different deal.
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in Humor (Puns / Jokes)
Fuck! I got a Hugo!
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